Without End
&&
It is the weight of nothing that come each day
so I will get out of bed and do what I do –
Am I controlling it or is it controlling me?
Does anyone even live here?
I have passed by at least forty homes now,
I have not seen any signs of life.
she tells me to hold it, forcefully and gently
use both hands but keep them low
do not pull back or forward
pull to the side
only slightly
he drives by and tells me
usually i hold it with one hand
it is as if i am not even holding a leash
keep your grip loose let him follow your pace
Is it possible to be haunted by a good thing?
It is good that I am not talking
You, four steps behind me at all times
Me, ahead enough to not screw anything up with my words
he lives for this, you say
so do I.
I wish I didn’t have to talk,
only follow the pace
of the one
beside me.
&&
it is hard seeing that I am the one ruining the good thing
You aren’t making me feel this way, I AM this way
so maybe if i just walk in a few more circles
upstairs downstairs in the empty house that i made empty
and try try try to remind myself who i am,
i could start to match my pace too,
but not today.
I told you to slow down and hurry up
at the same time
and was confused why you didn’t know what to do.
How could I not notice that you were the steady one?
Is it possible to be haunted by a good thing?
i’ll do what i can to understand
you walked up
so slowly
to home
i wondered if you still would have
if you knew
the rushing
without end
the rushing
without end
you make this walk everyday without me,
and somehow
that makes me delighted
and in despair
all at once.
“I think you’re the best of us,” you said.
I’m not. But thank you for saying that.